[Part1-P1] (means Paragraph 1 of Part 1) (One part is divided by a blank line.)

[One autumn night]→this lacks of a preposition (prep.), for example, "On".

P.S.: all words about the characteristic of a certain word (for example, noun, verb) will be used in its abbreviation from (for example, n. v.)

【Part1-P2】

[a very horrible ghost face]

1."very" can be relaced with "extremely"（the latter is more formal and emphatic, suggesting a higher level of intensity or degree）

2."horrible" can be replaced with "terrfying".

"Horrible" tends to emphasize the dreadful or awful nature of something, rather than just the fear it might inspire.

"Terrifying" focuses more on the sense of fear that something instills, rather than the quality or nature of the thing itself.

so "terrfying" is more suitable for this scenario.

.

【Part1 P2】

[appeared from a little bush]

"bush" should be in plural→bushes

In this scenario of the passage, a specific bush cannot offer enough hiding space to Mier, so bushes are necessary.