We all have those moments in life when we are placed in a situation where family, friends, neighbours, work colleagues and even strangers will provide you with unwelcome advice.
I feel I've had my fair share of that over the years – how to have a baby, how to raise a child, where to send them to school, how to provide the best nutrition, where I should invest money, how to treat illnesses or how to cope when you are "just having a bad day?".
It can be tempting to react harshly [to unwanted advice] but you may find yourself being classified as the "damager" of relationships.Self-control and a clear script can lead to the best and most graceful response.
People who repeatedly give unwanted advice can be well-meaning and genuinely want to help.Nonetheless there are times where a deeper, more personal issue of validation or power might be a factor.
At times, learned childhood behaviour when people were at their loudest to gain attention can cause an eternal need for it.Further, a chronically stressful or unsupportive environment where a person may have felt unheard can cultivate a sense of self-worth around the ability to influence the actions of others.
I've always found it interesting to explore a) what motivates people to provide advice and b) how the recipient responds.Many times I have seen a split or change in certain conversations if part of the family/friend group continually provides unwanted advice.As a consequence, this can cause relationship breakdowns.
Nonetheless, there is hope for both parties involved.It's all about a touch of awareness and empathy towards each other.
To the person who loves giving advice – do you notice that at times, because you have gone through a similar situation before that you might be able to add valuable insight?Great!
Responding to unsolicited advice is an art form.However, learning how to master it is imperative to protect your self-esteem and overall emotional wellbeing.Take a step back from the situation and consider how you can respond from a thoughtful versus reactive place, you can turn unwanted advice into a learning and growth experience.
