Starting in college, I adopted a new life motto: 'Try everything twice, because the first time could be a fluke.'I knew I needed a change.My teenage self had been stubborn and overly certain about the world.That version of me liked what they liked, and that was that.But as I entered adulthood, I started to see how my rigidity was hurting me.By dismissing people, opportunities and experiences out of hand, I was missing out.
So I started giving everything chances – at least two.I applied this to different foods, workout classes, styles of dress, and even dates.I revisited a study group that I'd avoided after our first session together (because they seemed awkward and too quiet), and soon got to know them as a witty and thoughtful group of friends.Saying 'yes' at least twice to different social events and party scenes helped me figure out what I truly enjoy.
Over time, this practice, I suspect, even changed my personality, strengthening my tolerance for things I would've previously written off and giving me a newfound curiosity.As someone who writes about psychology, I came to understand this change in terms of openness to experience: a dimension of personality that includes inquisitiveness, willingness to entertain new ideas, imagination, and adventurousness.There is no doubt in my mind that changing this personality trait – which, research shows, is indeed possible to do – has made me a happier person.
But I'm also a better person now, I think.Since my first impressions now carry less weight, I'm more generous in my assessments of people, and way more likely to chat with someone I don't know well.Teenage me would be baffled by how many more sources of joy and delight you can find if you just give things a chance to grow on you.Sometimes all it takes is a second try.
