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【Weekly topic 2026.09.06】The Art of Saying No |
lizhenxuan
中级魔法师 七级
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Floor 1
Posted at: 9/6/26 7:06
We are taught to be polite, helpful, and agreeable. But sometimes we say yes when we really want to say no—to extra work, to invitations, to favors. This week, we talk about the difficulty of setting boundaries, the guilt that follows, and the quiet freedom of protecting our own time.
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lizhenxuan
中级魔法师 七级
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Floor 2
Posted at: 9/6/26 7:06
Discussion Questions:
1. When was the last time you said yes to something but wished you had said no? What was it? 2. Why do you think we find it hard to refuse others—fear of disappointment, habit, or something else? 3. Do you think saying no gets easier with age and experience? Have you noticed this in yourself? 4. Is there a polite way to refuse in Chinese culture, and do you think they are helpful? How does it differ from Western styles of refusal? 5. Picture that: Everyone would always say yes or no direct directly and freely, how would our life change? 6. If you could give one piece of advice to someone who struggles with setting boundaries, what would it be? 7. Interactive Element: Find someone who seems more confident at setting boundaries than you. Ask them how they learned to do it, and share one situation where you wish you had done the same. |
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lizhenxuan
中级魔法师 七级
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Floor 4
Posted at: 9/6/26 12:01
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Azi
初级魔法师 四级
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Floor 5
Posted at: 9/10/26 14:34
1. When was the last time you said yes to something but wished you had said no? What was it?
A few weeks ago I wanted to refuse the invitation from my friend to his birthday party because I had so many things to do then, but I didn't finally because it might be seen as impolite. |
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Azi
初级魔法师 四级
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Floor 6
Posted at: 9/10/26 14:41
2. Why do you think we find it hard to refuse others—fear of disappointment, habit, or something else?
Both |
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Azi
初级魔法师 四级
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Floor 7
Posted at: 9/10/26 14:56
3. Do you think saying no gets easier with age and experience? Have you noticed this in yourself?
yes. I am able to sleep in class and turn down others now, which I never dared to do before. |
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Azi
初级魔法师 四级
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Floor 8
Posted at: 9/10/26 15:16
5. Picture that: Everyone would always say yes or no direct directly and freely, how would our life change?
I think it would be positive. we might feel awkward or hurt more often at first, but would get more mentally resilient and less sensitive afterwards and the communication would be more effective finally |
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Azi
初级魔法师 四级
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Floor 9
Posted at: 9/10/26 15:19
6. If you could give one piece of advice to someone who struggles with setting boundaries, what would it be?
Don't be too sensitive because the one you turn down possibly don't care at all. |
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lizhenxuan
中级魔法师 七级
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Floor 10
Posted at: 9/10/26 15:30
There's a typo in Q5:"Everyone would always say yes or no direct directly and freely" The "direct" should be related.
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lizhenxuan
中级魔法师 七级
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Floor 11
Posted at: 9/10/26 15:40
4. Is there a polite way to refuse in Chinese culture, and do you think they are helpful? How does it differ from Western styles of refusal?
I think the main difference lies in whether the refusal is direct or not. We Chinese emphasize on "saving face". |
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啊啊是谁都对
总编 二十四级
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Floor 12
Posted at: 9/16/26 21:38
1. When was the last time you said yes to something but wished you had said no? What was it?
I don't remember... maybe a week ago. Why exists there the concept of class even for PhD students! |
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啊啊是谁都对
总编 二十四级
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Floor 13
Posted at: 9/16/26 21:39
2. Why do you think we find it hard to refuse others—fear of disappointment, habit, or something else?
Maybe we cannot afford the price of refusal...any potential disadvantages in relationship. |
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啊啊是谁都对
总编 二十四级
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Floor 14
Posted at: 9/16/26 21:43
3. Do you think saying no gets easier with age and experience? Have you noticed this in yourself?
Yes. I think it relates to how can we express refusal in a way that others can easier accept it. |
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啊啊是谁都对
总编 二十四级
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Floor 15
Posted at: 9/16/26 21:46
4. Is there a polite way to refuse in Chinese culture, and do you think they are helpful? How does it differ from Western styles of refusal?
Maybe yes. For example, prepare some all-purpose excuses for different situations. |
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啊啊是谁都对
总编 二十四级
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Floor 16
Posted at: 9/16/26 22:02
5. Picture that: Everyone would always say yes or no direct directly and freely, how would our life change?
Maybe some time is needed to let people adjust themselves, but then everyone can find that the convey of information turn more efficient. |
